https://www.trishcarpenter.com/blog daily 0.75 2025-05-16 https://www.trishcarpenter.com/blog/a-lesson-to-learn monthly 0.5 2025-03-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e9e806cf3268437e28b3642/477e96a3-3b45-439a-a598-c86c596469aa/20190125_084619.jpg Blog - A Lesson to Learn - Cam also saw how the school kids responded to finding out Thomas had died. The school my boys attended decided that they wouldn’t talk with the other students about Tom’s death. They believed the students didn’t need that conversation; they were too young. Whatever the reason, they made the choice to avoid the big sad elephant in the room. I disagreed and was so anxious about how it would all play out. With no adults to set the tone and provide some guidance, it left the kids to go looking for answers elsewhere. And so, they went to my son. Every day, more questions from more and more classmates. “How did Thomas die? Why did he die? Why aren’t you crying?” Questions posed to this eight-year-old boy who had helped carry his brother’s coffin from a big, crowded room just two weeks before. Curiosity is understandable but kids can also be cruel when they see difference or when they don’t understand. It was surprising to me that the research shows that bereaved children can often become victims of bullying*. Taunts like “Your brother died” – just to see what response they could get. “I wish you had died instead of Tom”. Comments which I am sure provoked Cam’s lurking thoughts that maybe it should have been him. Horrendous and unfair taunts that I couldn’t protect him from. Graduation Day at the end of Year 6 saw us arriving at the school hall for the ceremony and I was doing my very best to hold it together. Cam was walking next to me and holding my hand. He looked up at me and told me I shouldn’t cry. I said to him “There will definitely be tears mate. I am proud of you, and I am sad that Tom isn’t here.” He thought for a minute and responded by saying: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e9e806cf3268437e28b3642/48407bd2-9eb1-474e-8b90-e76da2ea7383/Childhood+Grief Blog - A Lesson to Learn - Make it stand out Image by Vitolda Klein - Unsplash https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e9e806cf3268437e28b3642/a83fa7e4-0797-451d-ac7e-c75509bfcac4/Cam%27s+Toca+for+Thomas Blog - A Lesson to Learn Without much parental direction, he came and went out of the room – playing outside, helping the staff with little jobs and chatting away in the office. Always returning to the same scene in that room. He would come and ask a question or two but still seemed unsure of how to help. Only able to watch. Then Cam settled in with Tom’s hospital Ipad to play one of the games – Toca Nature. A game that allows the player to create landscapes with trees, rivers, mountains and animals, and to explore different environments. And then he had an idea. Cam started to transform these landscapes into letter designs – ‘T’ for Thomas, ‘C’ for Cameron. 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